June 2010
18 posts
Game over...
I am not pregnant.
IVF did not work.
I am not shocked at all but no matter how much I prepared myself for this outcome, there was no way I could have prepared for this kind of pain.
I am numb.
I am angry.
I am beyond sad.
In this moment I feel like I just wasted 2 months of my life for nothing.
I don’t know when this is going to get better or how it is going to get better but I am...
Back...
I am back at work today after 10 + days of being bedridden. I haven’t been writing here much because I am struggling to say anything positive or hopeful or to even put most of what I am feeling into words.
Things are hard. This is by far the hardest thing I have gone through as of yet. I am physically drained, emotionally drained and am trying to remember what it feels like to be happy.
I...
Cornymags06
I hope you see this! I tried to find a way to contact you directly from your blog but could not.
I just wanted to say Thank You so much for your kind note!!
Hanging in...
Well this is the first time I have been feeling up to going on the computer. After the transfer I developed OHSS. It is just extra fluid build up in your body but it was making it hard to breathe easy and very hard to get comfortable.
I am slowly feeling better and able to keep my food down.
I have such mixed emotions right now. I am still hopeful but also very scared that my body has not been...
Hope
I am filled with it.
We just got home from having two good embryo’s transfered into my uterus. Gary got to hold my hand and we both watched as the Dr put them in. Gary cried, I just couldn’t stop smiling.
It doesn’t look like we will get any to freeze but today I don’t even care. I am so filled with hope and happiness that these are our babies.
10 days until the...
Long one....
Yesterday was my retrieval. I am not going to lie, it was one of the most painful things I have ever been through. Part of this is because my ovaries are enlarged about 5X their normal size and the other part is that I woke up mid procedure and started screaming and crying. They had to stop, administer more drugs and then continue. I came home and slept the rest of the day. Gary started giving me...
I know, right! We had no other fruit or veggies laying around the house last night. It was like watching a poorly made horror movie!
mar-see-ah replied to your post: Interesting Evening…
Stabbing something into potato is much harder than stabbing it into butt muscle! BAD GARY. WHY DID YOU PRACTICE LIKE THAT?
Interesting Evening...
Well last night was not a treat.
I had to pick up my trigger injection with 2 sized needles in 2 different vials. I felt like a mad scientist. That wasn’t even the hard part.
This injection had to go into my butt muscle, it has a 2 inch long needle that had to go all the way in. I can not reach back there so I had Gary practicing with a extra needle on a potato. It was horrifying, watching...
WE ARE ON!!!!!
For the retrieval at least! I spoke with the nurse and she said my Dr wants to look things over some more and get a few more opinions from his colleagues but we are definitely going in there and getting those eggs out!
The transfer is more than likely canceled at this time. The risk for SEVERE OHSS is too strong and transferring and getting pregnant would only make it worse. My E2 level is in the...
On pins and needles...
Why won’t the nurse just call me already! I need to know what is going to happen. I hate being such a control freak.
And it just keeps coming....
So I had my monitoring appointment this morning bright and early, came to work, got through my emails and started in on my google reader when the nurse called.
Nurse: Hi Amy, where do you work?
Amy: ummm, down the street from you guys……
Nurse: Can you come back immediately for another injection?
Amy: ummm, I guess….
So it turns out I have close to 40 FOLLICLES ON MY OVARIES...
A Thank YOU!
I just wanted to say a HUGE Thank You to everyone who took the time to write to me yesterday or comment on my post.
I know I have a lot of people rooting for us in real life and those who read here and it means the world to me.
So thank you, thank you, thank you!
I am shockingly keeping a pretty positive attitude right now. Who knows where that is coming from but I will take it!
I will update...
Update...
AUGH….I am pretty worried and frustrated right now. There is a chance that my IVF cycle will be canceled.
I went in this morning for monitoring and the nurse just called me back to let me know that:
Left Ovary - too many small ones to count
Right Ovary - Two 10mm and too many small ones to count
E2 level - 1,893 (This is WAY TOO high)
As a result of that insanely high E2 level they are...
Still surviving.
So I have to say to anyone that has been on Clomid and needs to move on to injectables for IUI or IVF. IT IS SO MUCH BETTER!
I thought I was going to die a few times on the Clomid. It was so horrible. Now I am taking a ton more FSH meds and I am injecting them right into my body. I assumed it would be the same or worse.
It is not.
I am still too early in right now but I have to say I am...
Blogger Award! →
babybilletdoux:
My first AWARD EVER!!! Thanks, Rebecca!! Ok, let’s see…10 is a lot!
1) I have sister through my dad I have never met. I think she’s maybe 23/24?? Not even sure. Because of my recent reunification with my dad’s side of the family, I was inspired to reconnect with this sibling. When I Googled her, I discovered that she was actually on The Dog Whisperer with Cesar Milan!!! Super...
1 tag
Last Day! Last Day!
Today is my last day of Birth Control and I feel like throwing a freaking party!
Here is a round up of side effects so far.
BCP’s: Want to throw up 24/7, tender boobs, want to throw up 24/7, crying uncontrollably, out of control feelings, rage, want to throw up 24/7.
Lupron: Sweet, sweet NOTHING! No side effects so far.
How awesome is that? I have heard women have a really hard time on...
Wonderful weekend.....
That included…
-A 3 hour trip to the Lincoln Park Zoo
-2 hours of shopping and lots of summer clothes for me
-A trip to the beach on lovely Lake Michigan
-Dinner with friends in Chinatown
-Hanging out in Millenium Park for a few hours reading on a large blanket with my love
-Sex and the City 2 (Which was horrible)
-Dinner with friends at our house last night
-Multiple injections that...
